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I used to have a girl named Su, and why we broke up

17/11/2021

When I was 9 years old, I fell in love with a girl, or at least I thought I did. I liked her so much and could hardly do without her.

It was a kind of long distance relationship and I would see her between 7-10 times yearly and those were always the best moments of my life.

As I grew older I loved her the more until we met for the first time when I turned twenty nine. I stuck to her because I was in love with her. Even after I got married, I remained with her because she was like the first love I ever had.

But late last year I took a decision to do away with her. Moments with Su were the best I had experienced. She would do things to me that none other could do. Just watching her and spending time with her would make my day and week and I could talk about those moments for months until the next time I meet her. That was how telling, my moments with my girlfriend, Su were, but I had to end it all to avoid mental health issues

She stopped being attractive to me and soon began to give negative vibes. Moments spent with her turned out to be bore fests and I would be anger stricken for days and weeks on end after she leaves. She had lost whatever it was hat attracted me. She began to act like she was being forced to be girl friend. I stopped looking forward to being with her. There was really no need being with her. I tried, but it did not work.

I tried to endure the latest version of Su, hoping she would change and things would be back to normal, but it just kept on getting worse.

I decided to find fun in some other things than my own girl friend and after this lasted a while, I knew it was time to end this love affair.

The Reality of it all

The story told above has been me and the Super Eagles as presented by Gernot Rohr. Ever since I decided not to watch them any more I have had no regrets and I have had peace of mind. I see people complain on Social Media after each game, on how badly the Eagles played and I really tell myself that I am not missing anything. The Super Eagles currently have nothing to offer. They are like that old whore on Adelabu Street that has been used and ravaged by the menfolk who are now switching over to younger girls.

This is not a “Gernot Rohr must go” article because I have gone way past that. Let Rohr stay on.

Bottom line is that I will not go back to my old girl friend. I hope the Eagles qualify for the World Cup, but I will not watch any game with Gernot Rohr as coach. Like I have said a hundred times- i'd rather watch wet paint dry or moths mating, than destroy my eyes on the rubbish they dish out to Nigerians every time they play.

Let me go and apply my eye drops.

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My 7 Day incarceration ordeal

12/10/2021

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I just came out of a seven day incarceration ordeal and this is the story of that encounter. A few people would have noticed that I had been out of social media for about ten days, but may not have known why.

We move!

One Saturday in April 2021, I woke up and noticed I could not see clearly after I put on my glasses. I thought the lens were a bit dusty, so I wiped them, but the vision did not improve. I sprinkled the liquid and wiped some more but it was still the same,

But I managed it that weekend, even though I knew it was difficult for me.

By Tuesday when it became unbearable, I called my optometrist friend at the University of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital, UPTH and after seeing three consultants, I was told my right eye had a problem, and not the lens.

The pressure was extremely high and I had needed eye drops for a full week to crash the eye pressure from 46 to 13. Then I was told I needed to have a Laser PI (Peripheral Iridotomy) done on the eye.

I booked that at a private clinic as UPTH could not do it. I had it done on the second weekend of May 2021. After 2 weeks, I went back to the Teaching Hospital where they confirmed it was a good job. All was well, right?

Enter Phase 2 of the wahala

Life was good. My eyes were not bad and I hadn't needed my glasses in weeks.

I could use my phone without them, I could use my computer without them, and I could read without them. I still had to use my eye drops regularly, though.

However, on July 11, 2021, England lost the Euros final to Italy. I had taunted the world that it would come home so I shut my phone immediately after the final and went to sleep
I'd answer their trolling in the morning.

I woke up, picked my phone, and responded to a few messages. Went in, had a bath and couldn't see clearly anymore. I closed my tight eye with my hand and vision was top. I did the same with my left eye and all I could see was whitish mass. The right eye was not working.

I called my optometrist and he summoned me to the UPTH once again where I met 3 different consultants. They all ran teats, looked inside the eye and asked the same question, “Did anything hit your eye?”

My response was the same. I did not get flapped or punched, I didn't walk into a door or wall, and I don't play football anymore so I didn’t get elbowed or take a shot in my face.

I was asked to go back to where I did the laser PI, just in case that could be a factor, but they checked, confirmed the PI was still a good job and then told me the current condition had nothing to do with the Laser PI.

I was pushed in for an eye scan and the consultant looked at the results and asked.... “Did anything hit your eye?”

This was beginning to get boring, but I patiently gave the sane answer.

The consultant told me in clear terms that there were no lens in my right eye. They fell off, or fell out of its in situ location. Displaced lens. That can only happen most of the time after forced trauma on the eye. I insisted nothing like that happened.

Next up was the solution. I asked what the solution would be since we now knew the problem and she said, a vitrectomy as permanent solution. You don't know what that is? Okay, it's a vitreous retina surgery! You still don't know what it is? Oya, they'll cut the eye open, locate the lens that fell off, remove it, then in another surgery, they'll fix artificial lens to locate the displaced one. And it would cost close to a million naira.

At this time I had completely lost vision in my right eye. In other words, it did not exist. I asked how much time I had and was told I could use a contact lens on my right eye for as much as 8 months. It was no emergency, the consultant said.

I went for the option of the contact lens while I started the process of prepping for the surgery.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Then a few days later, I got a call from my optometrist letting me know that the surgery will either be done in Kaduna, at the National eye hospital, or by a surgeon from Kaduna.

He then added that the surgeon was in town, at another clinic. He wanted me to go there for an assessment. Since, in his words, that's the man who may do the surgery eventually.

I dashed down to see him and after assessment, he insisted I did it immediately. I booked myself for the next session he'll be in Port Harcourt. Sometime in September.

SURGERY DAY

I had gone in a day earlier on Friday, October 1, 2021 for assessment and I was booked to be the first on the queue.

I asked questions like, how long the procedure would last, how many days I would need to recuperate etc. I just asked loads of questions. I wanted to know what I was going in to do.

Incarceration Day 1

When the surgeon asked for the blade, I knew it was it. I had been injected around the lower eyelid. It was local Anastasia, so I was quite conscious and knew everything around me. I asked what the time was and the surgeon said, “Matron, he wants to know the time.”
She told me it was 9.25am and then probably handed over the blade he had asked for. I noticed his finger feeling my right eye, then I felt the cut and blood splatter. This guy just cut my eye open. Jesus! Then the surgeon’s voice went, “Cotton Wool.”
It was handed to him and next thing I felt was him mopping up blood from around my eye. He asked for Saline, and then I felt the liquid pour in my eye. Three hours later, I heard the surgeon say, “It is done. That was a perfect surgery.”

I asked what the time was and the matron said it was 12:15pm.

Day 2: I can’t see a thing

I was back at the hospital as early as 7 am the next day where the cast was taken off. My right eye was still closed though I tried to force it open. The nurse put an eye drop in it and then took me to another room to try to read with the right eye. I could not see a thing. She said it was normal, but I did not believe. I panicked. Why would she tell me to read if I was not expected to read in the first place? I complained to the surgeon that I could not see a thing with the right eye. He smiled and told me not to worry that it was normal. He tried to explain something about air being pumped into the eye and it would take about two days before my vision gradually returns.

He looked at the eye through the x-ray thing and told me all was well. He said the Iris claw lens used to replace the displaced one was in place and I had nothing to worry about. That was reassuring, but allow me to worry.

I was handed a piece of paper with rules and regulations to follow for the net 7 days. I told the nurse that I could not read and she began to read them out for me. It was basic things I should not do to ruin the good job done on the eye. Number 4 was not to engage in any rigorous activity, especially sex. Blood of Jesus!

Life was a briefest without the eyes. My job was news gathering and talking. Without the eye and mouth I am completely useless at my job. In fact, there would be no job. I just lay in bed listening to my radio. That was all I could do. Pressing my phone was out of bounds. Mary Warmann came visiting. Nathan Brodrick called. Dr Tunde Akkininu called too. I could not watch the Liverpool vs Manchester City game because I had just one eye. It was not even an option
So, I just backed the TV in the parlour and listened to the commentators. My eyes drops were every hour for 24 hours and the other one every 2 hours for 48 hoots so that was my routine.

Day 3: I see the light

In my quest for vision, I would always close the left eye to check if I could see anything with the right eye. I did that every morning. By Monday, I could see light bulbs on, but nothing else. I will just see the brightness of the bulbs but there was no other vision in the right eye. I don dey fear o.

Day 4: Now I have panicked

Tuesday morning and vision in my right eye had not improved so, I panicked, naturally. I called Doctor Chikezie and screamed out, “My eye is not healing o. there is a problem!”

After he calmed me down, I calmed down and continued to listen to radio, since that was all I could do. At about 3pm, I closed my left eye, then put my hand in front of my face and I could see it. I could also see what looked like my fingers, though the vision was blurred, I ssaw my hand with my right eye. My vision was returning.

Day 5: I see men like trees

By day 5 I was going crazy. The vision in my right eye was improving but the wait was frustrating. I began to see what looked like rust. It was greenish brown and it seemed like it was floating at the top of my right eye. But at least I could see something. Then I started to see black dots, like water droplets hovering around my eye. Those, I learned are known as floaters and are quite normal. My optometrist later explained that during the surgery, my vitreous was touched and I will continue to see floaters until it is fully healed. Hmm! But the vision was improving. I could see the images of people in front of me. I still could not make out the features in their faces, but I will know if a person is in front of me

Day 6: I can see clearly now

I woke up to bright eyes. The right eye was almost fully open and I could see clearly. The Super Eagles had a game against the Central African Republic but I was not going to waste my new eye sight watching whatever mess Gernot Rohr was going to serve. I’d rather search for moths and watch them mate. So, I did not watch the game. I heard they lost. I had not emotions, whatsoever. In the evening, I took a walk around the neighbourhood. I was tired of sitting at home.

Day 7: I think I am ready

My 7 day incarceration is over, but I will just stay indoors for another two days since I return to work on Monday morning, after a visit to the Eye Hoapsital for assessment. I noticed the floaters were much though and I was beginning to get worried. They were all over the place

Life returns to normal

I visited the hospital on Monday morning and the excited surgeon told me it was massive recovery one week post op. I could read with the eye, and almost see clearly with it. He advised that I could go back to work, but cautiously, since the total healing process is about six weeks.

Moral of this story: Nigerians should be health conscious. Our bodies are very important and we must do occasional checks. I did not want to share too much information here, but I was this close to losing my right eye. Health is wealth. Protect your health.

PS
I believe I explained some medical terms like a complete illiterate. I am not a doctor, but I am sure you got the message.

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Love Notes: Don't blame it on anything, it was all on you

28/7/2021

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Tonye Franklin

The definitions of ‘relationship’ might be cliché yet cannot be underestimated, except the ones with ‘open’ in them.

Therefore a decision to be in a relationship should be backed by basic traits or ingredients that are the foundations on which it stands.

But in society today, it’s easy to say these character traits are hardly instilled in the minds of a lot of people due to the appalling rate of broken marriages and failed relationships caused by ‘cheating’.

Especially how it has successfully been highly attributed to a particular gender over the years.

Truth is, whether one gender or all genders, cheating is still an intentional act of disrespect to your partner, yourself and your relationship.

Cheating is an independent choice of indiscipline; having zero control over your sexual urges and how or with whom you choose to satisfy them, which are the traits the first paragraph of this article refers to.

Although, excuses are given sometimes to justify the act which unfortunately has almost given it a more credible stand in an institution supposedly laid on a foundation of love, communication, trust and commitment.

It’s important you note that this article doesn’t sideline the possible temptations in a relationship and/or in the union of marriages but it is more aimed at highlighting the fact that despite these challenges, the individual plays a major role in the outcome of events which is the ability to MAKE DECISIONS.

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Random musing: Now it's time to blame the victim -The story of Wezina

21/5/2021

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There was a time in Wezina land that my grandfather told me about. My grandfather is late Cotton Acho Amadi Acheru and he told me a lot of stories, and this is one;

Wezina had an old and very weak king or Nye Nwe Eli at the time. He was not just old, he was weak and sick.

During his reign, things went bad for Wezina Kingdom. External forces ravaged the land and Wezina lost lots of wars and a lot of its land. Farmers could no longer till their land because it had either been lost to external oppressors, or they were too scared to go out. And this led to lack of food in the land.

The fisher men could not go to the river and the hunters could not go to the forest.

It was a very difficult time for Wezina Kingdom. Yet, their king just remained in the palace doing nothing. At a time, the rumour mill said he had died and had been replaced secretly by a look alike king. The truth was that the kingship was to move to another family at the end of the tenure of this weak king which a few people did not want. A few who were either part of the family of the ruling king, or beneficiaries from other families. So, rather than announce that the king had passed on, they just replaced him with a look alike.

But had he really passed on? Nobody knew for sure. It was just a rumour that could not be verified.

While all this was happening, Wezina continued to suffer.
The king ensured that the whole council of chiefs were members of his own family which was against the laws guiding the formation of Wezina kingdom.

When other families tried to produce food and other items to sustain them, he made sure a larger percentage was taken to the palace to be shared amongst his family. But when his family produced, it was never shared.

People were not happy, but they stopped complaining because a few who did, either mysteriously died, were thrown in prison or banished from the kingdom.

So, the people just continued to live their lives and remain hopeful that this king would die one day and power would change hands. At this time, they did not even care if somebody from the king’s own family continued to reign, they just wanted him out but could do nothing about it. They were tired of the reign of the old, sick and weak king.

But many years into the reign of this king, Wezina was faced with another challenge. Armed marauders would enter the kingdom, abduct people and go away with them. This affected almost every family in the land who had farmers, hunters, traders or fishermen.

Sometimes, these people were enslaved wherever they were taken to, and at other times, they would be killed.

This went on for too long and the people became even more worried.

They sent emissaries to the palace to let the king understand what was going on, but they could not see the king and they did not know if the messages they left even got to him. How could they not see their king, even in times of crisis like these?

It seemed they were on their own and had to find a way to fend for, and protect themselves.

So, they began to organise search parties as soon as any of their family members were kidnapped as it seemed that the palace could no longer protect them.

Their search parties would go into the bushes and try to track the kidnappers, succeeding sometimes and at other times, the search not being fruitful. This went on for about three years until the most shocking news came out of the king’s palace;

After a council meeting, the rumours spread in the community that the palace was thinking seriously about placing a ban on search parties to rescue kidnap victims. The people could not understand why the palace was trying to stop them from rescuing their own family members. It was unbelievable.

It came as a surprise to the people of Wezina and a lot were angry and it was discussed in hushed tones, especially at twilight and they could not understand.

Their family were being kidnapped, and taken away as slaves, the palace could do nothing about it and when they tried to rescue their own loved ones they were now being told that it was no longer allowed?

The stories coming out of the palace said defaulters would be tried and if found guilty banished from the land.

The victims of the crime were now being hunted by those who should naturally protect them. They would be thrown out of Wezina Kingdom or sent to prison if they organized search parties to rescue their kidnapped family members.

But again, they could do nothing about it, but wait until the king dies and another one takes over while the hope that the new king would be better.

Wezina Kingdom, four hundred years ago.

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Daily musing: Arsenal fans need to pray as football returns in England

18/6/2020

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Football returned in Europe three weeks ago with the German Bundesliga, but nothing counts as much as what happens in England so I guess we were all excited when “Project Restart” came to fruition on Wednesday.

Aston Villa first hosted Sheffield United and save for that goal scored just before half time that did not count because they probably failed to turn back on the Goal Line Technology machine, it went without any incidents and few talking points.

But the big one was no doubt the later game at the Ettihad where Manchester City hosted Arsenal.

I really do not know what people, especially Arsenal fans expected from this but it was always going to be a whupping for them, in fact my pre-game prediction was 4-0 to City and Arsenal as usual did not come to the party.

But the joke of Arsenal is their defender, David Luiz who Chelsea was just too willing to give out to them. I do not know if Arsenal thought they got a bargain for their deadline day signing of the bloke, but he has proved more often than not that he is a calamity.

For a substitute to cause that much damage to a team that stood no chance any way tells a lot about the quality of the Arsenal team, yet their fans trudge on.

I am taking glances at the League table as I type on and Arsenal is no Manchester United. If they do not make it the Champions League this season or at least the Europa League, they will be finished as a top club for the next five seasons.

Come on! Are we even talking about the Champions League? Arsenal will never get there this season, so maybe, the Europa Cup? Look at the clubs ahead of them.

What was any one expecting from Arsenal? That they would beat Manchester City? That they would go on to finish in top 6 or top 4? What exactly did any one expect?

Arsenal is the gift that keeps giving. As long as Sun rises from the east and sets at the west, Arsenal will not win the EPL any time soon or even qualify to play in Europe.

In the face of the COVID 19 pandemic, watching Arsenal play is comic relief. They are a gift to humanity.

Let the banter season continue. As long as Arsenal FC has clowns in its defence, clowns in other parts of their team and clowns in the board, they will struggle to crack top 10 this season which will be a crying shame.

Are you an Arsenal fan? Let us pray now...

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Like father like son: The forty-year story

31/5/2020

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Last Sunday I took my sons out to a beauty shop to have a haircut, and while this should naturally not be news, it must be because of the historical significance of the trip.

My sons love going out with me and it does not matter where. It could be to get Pizza, Suya, Sharwarama, see a movie or just go for a spin around the block. If they got into the car and we drove, it was worth it to them.

My second son reached out to me a few days earlier and said it was time for a haircut. The last four times we had their hairs cut, we had a hair stylist brought into the house, but this is a story for another day.

This time, I knew we had to drive out, so I called Kingsroom Unisex, the beauty shop located at the Shopping Mall opposite the Air Force Base at Aba road and informed them; we had a date and we agreed on Sunday so the boys were waiting for the day.

At the beauty shop

The boys had been to Kingsroom Unisex a couple of times before but as we approached, my 9 year old suggested to me he wanted to scrape all the hair on his head, what we called Gorimapa or Moro-moro back in the day and when I asked why, he said he was tired of combing his hair and wanted freedom.

My first, an 11 year old, a chip off the old block wanted to take off from the sides, like the punk kind of cut and when I asked why he said he wanted his hair to eventually be like mine and didn’t want to just take everything off. Hmmm! Impressive.

The 3-year-old did not have a say, so I suggested the three layer kind with a parting in the middle and so they started.

Kingsroom Unisex

Now, there is a reason why I like to be at Kingsroom Unisex, but again that is a matter for another day.

I like the way they got my attention four years ago and I have been part of their daily lives ever since, but I insist it is a story for another day.

I actually did not want to got out for the hair cut because of COVID 19, but I trusted those guys to be a safe haven for us and by the time I got there, I saw what they had done.

Even in the face of COVID 19, I saw the measures they had taken for safety and health of not just their clients, but their staff too. I was watching.

Forty years ago

As the hair stylist worked on my boys, from the middle one to the youngest and then the eldest, I just sat back, enjoying the scenery while my mind flashed back to a little under forty years ago when I was a kid as they were and my dad had to take us to a barber shop.

My dad will take my younger brother and I to a barbershop somewhere in Port Harcourt. I cannot remember the name now, but the barber was so old he could have been a hundred and thirty-five years old.

Then he owned these old rugged clippers that he held in his right hand and used his fingers to control the movement of the blades. If you were born in the 70s, then you will know these clippers.

And he will hit our head with the blade base and then begin to move the clippers up and down our head and I did not just hate the experience, I hated the man, I hated his shop and I hated trips to the barbershop. Now I need to explain all of these. They are part of the story.

First, the experience was painful and there was hardly a time he barbed our hair that he did not draw blood, especially when lining the front and back, or what we call “frictioning” these days.

Second was that I thought the man was too old to be a barber. He looked every time we were there like he would just drop dead while on the job. How could that kind of person be a barber? He was disgusting, and old too.

Then there was the issue of grammar. I do not remember the name of the salon, but there was an inscription on the wall that went, “The Senior Barber: Hair must grow” and this bothered me even more.

As an eight or nine-year-old, I understood that he was a senior barber because he was old, but how would the hair grow when all he did was cut it?

I would always read that inscription and hate him the more for not knowing how to use English. What did he mean by hair growing when all he did was remove whatever hair was left on one’s head?

Finally, I did not like going to the barber shop because I never got to leave with the hair style I wanted.
Why couldn’t I have my hair cut like all the other boys in my class? Why would I have to be taken to the barbershop every month to have all my hair scrapped and If I am lucky, the barber would just leave a little chunk in the middle? I hated it, but there was nothing I could do about it as I was just a kid.

Back to reality

Now, all of these was between 1979 and 1983, but this was in 2020 and I was taking my sons out for haircuts and I was letting them choose how they wanted to look, something that could not happen when I was their age.

How times have changed. I needed to drive the three boys down to my father’s apartment and let him see how four boys (including me) went to the barbershop and they return all looking different. In his day, we would have ben wearing the same thing on our heads, imposed by him.

I wanted to rub it in that in his day, there would be three unhappy boys returning from the barber shop but I brought back three happy and excited ones.

There were lots of things I would have loved to tell him, mocking him too, but I changed my mind because he would not care.

At 82, he had more reasonable things to think about and not how he “terrorized” us as kids at the barbershop.

I am only just reminiscing. Times have really changed. They have.

And, if you live in Port Harcourt between 1975 and 1983, you must remember that barbershop? The senior barber, hair must grow. Let us talk about this.

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Oh No! The woman’s nyansh has lost its value

4/5/2020

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I got the inspiration to write this after I saw certain things on social media three Fridays ago and again from a comment made by a colleague of mine and I thought I should write.

On our WhatsApp group, Oma Akatugba wrote, “Woman Nyansh no get value again. When we small na privilege to see am.”

This simply means that the woman’s buttocks has lost its value because back in the day we could hardly see it, even though we tried, but these days, it was all over our faces, even if we didn’t want to see it.

I asked Oma Akatugba to explain and even though I knew one hundred percent why he made that statement; it was also good to read from him too.

Oma told ChinaAcheru.com that as a young man growing up, there were certain things, certain sights that did not come easy.

In those days, women took pride in dressing and covering their bodies.

“If a young man sees a completely nude woman, maybe mistakenly sees her taking her bath, it was a taboo. Even on dates one can hardly do much on the first and second dates.

“Maybe the first date is just for dating in the real sense of the word, the second date and you could get a kiss, depending on you, then maybe, the third date she pays you a visit or you pay her a visit, but to see her essentials parts take time,” Oma Akatugba.

“But these days, people just expose their bodies on social media, maybe for validation, I do not know. They even expose their private parts out there.

“These days, if you want to see naked women, just go on social media and you go see tire (you will see a lot),” he said.

What Oma said is very true because these days, nudity has been thrown in our faces. We do not even have to request for it, because it is just there.

There are social media groups you can join if you want to see stuff that one could not imagine twenty years ago. You want to book sex online? Then join this group, you want to just see good old nudity, then join this other one. The truth is that a lot of these groups were closed groups and they did not just throw their stuff out there in people’s faces until, maybe the lock down.

What IG Live did to us

Because of the lock down, a lot of us have been idle at home and have turned to social media for entertainment and that is where this all happened.

The footballers have been on Instagram Live either chatting with journalists, fans or just each other, while the entertainers are doing same.

So, a certain MC Galaxy (I do not even know where he is based, neither do I know his real name) started an Instagram Live sessionwhere he would call ladies and ask them to perform a dance session for a few minutes. He had sponsors for this show and other viewers would eventually vote for the best dancers and the overall winner gets a cash prize which turned out to be one hundred and fifty thousand naira (about $400).

I was going in and out of that session because I really had other things to do but there were dance sessions by ladies from Nigeria, South Africa, Ghana and even the USA, but this is not even the gist.

Shake what your momma gave you

All of a sudden, the women on the session believed that the best dancer may just be the one that had no clothes on, rather than the one that wriggles her waist more, or something that relates to actually dancing.

And so, my eyeballs almost fell off its socket when right in front of me, and to a worldwide, audience, a lady dancing on this Instagram Live took off her top, her bra (letting out her bouncers) and then took off her pants, showing us things we were not supposed to see.

This was being beamed live to a world audience so I could not understand it any more. It then became a competition on who had the most reprobate mind of the lot as the ladies dancing started trying to undo each other in lascivious behavior until the shit hit the proverbial fan.

Sex on stage

Suddenly, a girl called in and she was based in Port Harcourt, from her intro and she did not waste to strip to her bare skin and then she got out a dildo.

This was not dance… It was a sex show, an online sex show. It was video meant to… meant to do what exactly?

At this point I had no idea what was going on but I watched on… I had to. I was compelled to keep watching this live show.

This light skinned lady from Port Harcourt starting using the dildo on herself while MC Galaxy screamed in ecstasy.

I watched awe-struck as she penetrated herself with the dildo, so engrossed in her sexual act that it did not take long for her to hit climax as she pushed the dildo in and out of her vagina.

Then we saw the milky liquid mess up the screen as she ended her performance for the day. I kid you not, this happened in an Instagram Live Session in Nigeria and by a girl who lives in Port Harcourt.

What did I just watch on live television? This was supposed to be a Friday night dance competition, but what did I just see?

Other dancers came up but based on the comments on the screen, viewers were no longer interested as they had seen enough and already knew who was their winner.

Up to nine contestants came up and a shortlist of three was made and they came up again on the screen to dance and you bet, this Port Harcourt girl did the exact same thing with the dildo and the climax. All this, in place of a dance. Guess what… She won and took home a prize of one hundred and fifty thousand naira.

Social Media has exposed us

With the kinds of things I saw on Instagram Live that day and I believe I am scarred for life. Well, it is 2020 and some people will attribute this to the second coming of Christ, but not me. Christ will come when he will come, but this has always been with us.

There is nothing on Social Media today that we have not necessarily done in our closet before. It is just that we now how a means of putting it out there for the world.

As far back as the Roman days, naked women would come out and entertain the emperor, didn’t they? As far back as fifty years ago in Nigeria, rich men would have ladies come to their hotel rooms and dance naked for them for entertainment, while the 90s and noughties saw the proliferation of strip clubs in Nigeria. What Instagram has done is pushing the market of these ladies to the International Community.

Truth be told that the woman’s nyansh has lost its value, especially to the old school like me, and it will get worse.

There is no going back from this point. We have completely lost it.

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COVID Champions League: Kano drop points as FCT close in on second

3/5/2020

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After two days of massive up turn in their fortunes, Kano State have slowed down in the COVID19 Champions League according to results released on
Saturday night by the National Center for Disease Control, NCDC.

In Saturday night’s results, two hundred and twenty new cases were confirmed, but unlike the previous two nights that Kano State topped the ranking, this time they were third on the new infections list.

Lagos State maintained their grip at the top of the table as they added 62 infections to the list on Saturday, while the FCT made a strong push to retain second position when they polled a total of 52 new infections.

Kano who had been on a roll in the last two days added just two infections, a figure that set tongues wagging.

Kaduna State in with a shout

Kaduna State got a season high of 31 new infections on Saturday while Sokoto got 13 news ones.

From figures released by the NCDC it seems as though the scourge of the COVID19 pandemic is affecting the northern states more than it is the south, Lagos state, the epicenter, being the only exception.

There were no new states recording infections within the last twenty four hours as Kogi and Cross Rivers States remain the only ones without a positive case so far.

Highlights of the day

According to the NCDC, On the 2nd of May 2020, 220 new confirmed cases and 17 deaths were recorded in Nigeria.

No new state has reported a case in the last 24 hours.

Till date, 2388 cases have been confirmed, 385 cases have been discharged and 85 deaths have been recorded in 34 states and the Federal Capital Territory

The 220 new cases are reported from 19 states- Lagos(62), FCT(52), Kaduna(31), Sokoto(13), Kebbi(10), Yobe (9), Borno(6), Edo(5), Bauchi(5), Gombe(4), Enugu(4), Oyo(4), Zamfara(3), Nasarawa(2), Osun(2), Ebonyi(2), Kwara(2), Kano(2), Plateau(2).

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We are all like E-crack and SARS as it is Nigerian nature to kill

26/2/2020

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Port Harcourt and the Nigerian police have been in the news in the past month due to the incident at the Special Police squad, known as E-crack.

As the story was told, a certain motor mechanic, Chima and his apprentices were arrested by the police for driving against traffic. Five of them were tortured and branded as cultists and armed robbers, but Chima unfortunately died in detention.

The news broke, and Nigerians are livid. The idea of the piece is not to recall the story. No! We all know it or we can search online for different versions of the story, but are we not all like the E-crack team? A violent people? Aren’t all Nigerians really violent people?

Violence and wickedness is in us, all of us as Nigerians

I was on radio some time last year and we were discussing the Nigerian football league and fans violence. The question was asked why Nigerian football fans think the only solution to what you call poor refereeing decisions is to physically manhandle the referees and I answered thus…

As a teacher what do you do when your student is recalcitrant or fails to get an answer right? You flog or beat

As a madam at home, what do you do when your house help does wrong? You most likely beat her.

As secondary school students in Nigeria in the 80s and 90s, why were we so eager to get to the senior classes? So we can begin to punish or torture the younger ones. Infact there have been cases where younger students have been killed in boarding facilities after severe punishment or torture by senior students.

When Nigerians catch a person on the streets suspected to be a thief, what is our default mode? We torture and most times kill him. We either beat him to death, put a rubber tire around his neck, pour petrol and burn him, hammer a six inch nail into his head or force him to drink a mixture of cement in water. These are every day Nigerians on the streets with violent tendencies.

Now is there any difference between us and the E-crack team who tortured and killed Chima the mechanic in detention? Or the men of the Special Anti-Robbery Squad, SARS who kill innocent Nigerians every day?

We are all the same and while we point fingers at the E-crack team, let us realise that a few are pointing at us.

I am not a police apologist

Now this seems like I am here to make a case for the Nigerian police but it is way out of it.

The Nigerian police have failed the country. The rank and file see the police as a means of making illegal money for themselves, harass hapless Nigerians and kill those who they suspect to have committed a crime.

My own extreme should be to scrap the Nigerian police, or do away with every one that is not a university graduate and kick start fresh recruitment. Not like the graduates are all straight headed people but it goes a long way to reduce the number people in the force who have no business there.

Let us have fresh recruitment with stiff criteria of entry.

Having said that, the crux if the matter, is, “Are the police acting the way they have done because they wear the uniform or is this a typical Nigerian behavior?

A few years ago, we saw a video of four young boys at the university of Port Harcourt tortured and killed by a mob (none of them police men) because people thought they were armed robbers.

Now, whether they were armed robbers or not, they deserved, at least, a fair trial.

We saw in Bayelsa where a mob attacked two fellows in an SUV and after torturing them, burned them alive in their car. There was no police man involved in the attack. Just regular people like me and you.

We also saw videos of a female student at a University in the South West of Nigeria torturing a much younger female student because she suspected the young girl had sex with her boyfriend. We saw videos of the torture and she was not a member of the Nigerian police.

Let me ask you and you reading this piece…. If you are Nigerian and you grew up in Nigeria, what are the next words that come out of your mouth when you are arguing with a much younger person who is going beyond reason? Let me help you… “I will beat you o” or “I will slap you o.”

This is the default next statement from the majority. Are you a police officer? The spirit of torture and killing is in us as Nigerians and Africans and I will explain more here. It goes back to the 1400s and even beyond that.

A history of Nigerian people

Nigerians have had a history of violence and I will take you back, down memory lane.

An 1859 report of Badagri goes, “Besides some slave traders at Whyddah, some English traders at Badagri attended these rites and I am informed by one of them that 800 humans were slaughtered, that some 2000 was the number intended to be sacrificed, but it was impossible to obtain so many.”

A 1789 report goes thus, “The mouth of the (Lagos) river is very shallow and dangerous and many boats belonging to English vessels with their crews have been lost in entering it… At the eastern extremity there are a few large trees, which are covered with the heads of malefactors. The skulls are nailed to their trunks and large limbs and present a very appalling spectacle…”

1826 in Lagos, “The king and his courtiers take bites out of the hearts of prisoners and drink their blood.”

1829 in Lagos, “Oshiloku of Lagos died, and Adele with the help of Badagri tried to attempt to seize the throne, but he was defeated and Oshiloku’s young son, Idewu was adopted as heir. Bambani, Adele’s chief captain, was captured by Lagosians who nailed his right hand to his head, lopped off the other hand like a twig and after parading him through the streets, struck off his head which they sent to Adooley (the king of Badagri)”

A lot of these examples are from Lagos, but time and space would not permit me to give similar examples of beheading, capture and consumption of humans in the East and the Calabar/ Ikot Ekpene region or sometimes just plain brutality.

This confirms my assertions (MINE) that we are a barbaric and violent people whether we wear the police uniform or not. Wearing the uniform just adds impunity to it.

What then can we do about police brutality?

Asides reforming the police force by doing away with any one with qualification below a University degree, there must be quarterly psychological evaluation of all officers in the police and military.

The police and Armed Forces must have only Nigerians who are stable mentally or else they will kill us all some day.

It is not the fact that they wear a uniform and carry a gun that make them kill, but the fact that they are Nigerian. This is who we are. A violent and barbaric people.

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After Dark: Hot Pants

19/2/2020

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His hands were teasing her clit as he fucked her hard from behind. She was sprawled on the trunk of the parked car matching every thrust with swaying hips, and her perfectly rounded bum hitting hard against his crotch. She was good and never hesitated to get what she wanted.

Turning swiftly, she pinned him against the trunk, and raising her legs onto the bumper, put his dick inside her slowly and fucked him silly. He had never had such rump in his entire life. Riding him to the ends of the earth and back and....blackout!

She'd fuck anything in trousers. She had no restrictions whatsoever. So long as she fulfilled her sexual cravings, she was ok. Although these cravings were on a per second radar, she somehow managed to find a willing dick to satisfy her...or not.
She'd gone clubbing to cool off and find a willing one-night stand.

She was smoking from a pot of shisha when her eyes caught this drop dead gorgeous being on the dance floor. She couldn't bring herself to look the other way so she stared until their eyes locked.

She bit her lip slowly, and gave a wink while rubbing her boobs gently. He was transfixed. Who wouldn't be? She looked like something out of a dream. Her auburn wig was full and draped her shoulders. She wore light makeup and tight-fitting blouse exposing lots of cleavage and a full bosom. She stood gently to reveal an ever so flat stomach, a tin waist, and broad hips. She had the shape of an hour glass and she was magnificent! Drawing one last puff from her shisha pot, she turned and bounced her ass ever so gently, twerking to the beat of the song and attracting more onlookers.

Ignoring the music blaring from all around her, and paying no attention to all the eyes that were on her, she danced her way to this hot stranger who couldn't take his eyes off her.

She got to him, and without saying a word, turned and rubbed her ass against his trousers as though she were dancing. In no time, she could feel that hard bulge and that was message enough to tell her that itch between her legs was about to be scratched
{Excerpts from Hot Pants}

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Meeting Yibo Koko, the Seki exponent

19/8/2019

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I watched the much vilified television show last week known as Big Brother Nigeria and I saw Yibo Koko and his crew doing the Seki Dance Drama.

The truth must be told that I did not catch it mistakenly as Yibo had put up notices on Social Media (Facebook) that Seki would be on air a particular time that day and so we waited and we saw it.

As I watched thew performance and how the house mates watched in awe I couldn’t help but remember the last time I met Yibo. We do not meet too often as he is a big man and I am not, so I remember every time I meet him.

Hotel Presidential in Port Harcourt

So I met Yibo Koko at the Hotel presidential in Port Harcourt one week before the inauguration of the new Rivers State government team. That should have been something like the last Thursday of the month of May 2019.

That was the night the former Super Eagles players arrived for the Novelty match in Port Harcourt played for the inauguration of the Rivers State Governor, Nyesom Wike and I was at the lobby of the hotel when they came in to take their rooms.

There were Peter Rufai, Okechukwu Uche, Austin Eguavoen, Friday Ekpo, Samson Siasia, Tarila Okorowanta, Mutui Adepoju et al. But the one that surprised me the most was Finidi George who I had not seen attend any event in Nigeria with his mates since he quit the National Team. I know Finidi was in Lagos a week earlier for the Governor Ambode farewell match, but wasn’t this something?

I walked up to him and reminded him that the last time I was that close to him was when he played at Sharks in the 90s even though at the Super Eagles during the 2002 World Cup Qualifiers hosted in Port Harcourt, I did not really get close to him. He smiled and simply went, “That was a very long time ago.”

If you know Finidi George as we knew him, he was the life of Sharks between 1988 and 1993. Yes, for two years in-between, he moved to join Calabar Rovers, but he was our boy. Like my late friend, Amainye Ibama would say back then, “If Finidi play well, Sharks go play well, if Finidi no play well, Sharks no go play well,” but I am I drifting away from why I am writing this piece?

We stood for a selfie (Finidi and I), but this piece is not about the Super Eagles but Yibo Koko, my last meeting with him and the Seki Dance Drama.

I was at the hotel for a meeting that lasted late at night and I just sat in the lobby waiting and chatting with the Super Eagles players as they walked by picking their room keys- Mobi Oparakwu, Obinna Nwaneri and the rest

But back to Yibo

As I sat in the lobby, Yibo moved towards me and sat on the next chair and after exchanging pleasantries, we got talking. There were two others sat with me, a senior police officer in mufti and another fellow who I do not remember right now.

Yibo was a very popular person at the University of Port Harcourt in the late 80s and early 90s. I was not popular at all so I doubt if he remembered me from school. I was just the son of the Deputy Registrar, but he? Who wouldn’t remember him? He led a student army that cleansed the university of the scourge of gangs, known as campus cults back in the day.

It was a very long time ago, but from the way I remember it, he led the UNIMOG army, a group of students who decided that they were tired of the way campus gangs had instilled fear in the student populace. At that time, the Nigerian Army was in Liberia to help keep peace and the group was called ECOMOG or ECOWAS Monitoring group, hence the name, UNIMOG or University Monitoring Group.

The University of Port Harcourt was basically gangland at the time and though there were no deaths then, it was getting worse and seemed just a matter of time.

This army (UNIMOG), fished out these boys, popularly called cultists, one after the other and after a beating and public humiliation, they were handed over the operatives of the State Security Services or CID. For me at that time it was amazing to see how these boys were were all scared off started running away from school and how they became, small, powerless and scared the moment they were caught. It was also amazing how the same students who feared these boys suddenly grew the balls to chase them around school and apprehend them, no dangerous weapons, nothing, just unity in purpose.

It was an adventure then at the university and as a young boy in school then, I enjoyed the drama. I experienced some arrests myself, some basically unknown students and others some high profile cases like the current Mr. Uniport at the time, the Student Union Government, SUG president and some others, but that is a story for another day.

As Yibo sat next to me, we got talking and he regaled us with the UNIMOG days, how it started and what motivated him to do it. Again, this is a story for another day.

Rivers State in 2019

He then got talking about the security situation in the state and there was only one reason I listened to him.

There are three kinds of people that talk about such things in Rivers State- the pro- PDP who never see anything wrong in the state even if it hits them in the face, the pro- APC or anti- PDP who will politicise everything just to discredit the government and then the neutral who just wanted the best for the state.

I really do not know Yibo’s political leanings but I thought he spoke from a pure heart about the security situation in Rivers State. He spoke like a true Port Harcourt boy who wanted to see changes in the state. If you ever met a true Port Harcourt boy you will know and you will love him immediately.

He started by asking us why the lobby of the Hotel Presidential was so empty on a Thursday night? He asked us how the lobby of the hotel should be at that time of night.

Then he told us that even if we were all Port Harcourt boys, we knew it was not safe to be out at night and we were only outside our homes at that time because what ever took us out was pretty important. He bet with us that we will all be scared to go home and wouldn’t breathe well until we got home safe and sound. He was right.

He told a story about how he escaped death a few years ago at GRA when he was almost robbed and bullet went through his body, making a clean exit.

If you know Yibo Koko like I do, then you will agree without argument that he knows how to wow an audience. He had a very interested audience on the night and he made good use of the opportunity.

Why Seki Dance Drama?

Then we talked about the Seki dance concept which he had pioneered and apart from trying to explain what it meant, Seki, there was a charge to the people of Rivers State, the South South region and Nigeria to discover themselves.

Now according to Yibo, the Seki Dance Drama is an attempt to promote the culture of the old Rivers State that now cuts across Rivers, Bayelsa and some parts of Delta. The Ikwerres, Kalabaris, Ogonis, Okrika, Opobo, ijaw, just name it, are represented in the Seki. It is an attempt to show how the Europeans brought in their own culture to take over the native culture of the indigenous people of the area.

Seki also attempts to show the world that it is not only violence and poverty in the Niger Delta but a rich cultural heritage that can stand firm anywhere in the world.

That, Yibo told me was the big idea behind the Seki concept.

“We must embrace our culture,” Yibo told me. “Not everything about our culture is bad and evil. That is what the Christian missionaries told us and that is what our people believed.

“Our culture is not evil, it is not of the devil, it is actually our own originality,” Yibo said.

“We have our own thing. But because we do not always show it, we are like a people without a history, a back ground, a culture.”

I was starring at him as he spoke, exactly thirty years after I starred at him at Delta Park gate at the University of Port Harcourt where he addressed us on why campus gangs had no place in our society.

Yibo had not changed one bit, he was just a little older, well thirty years older. And just like my brother, Precious said twenty five years ago, “People do not change, they just get older.”

Yibo Koko had not changed one bit, he was just a little older. His words would pierce through your heart; they could be the difference between a docile and an active youth. I think Yibo Koko needs to talk publicly some more.

As I watched him, all adorned in his regalia, doing the masquerade dance in the Big Brother house, I could not help but smile.

I remembered those days in the late 70s and early 80s when we would go to the village to watch the yearly masquerades (owu) at Oduoha Ogbakiri. I still remember some names like Oforn’ogwu, Oburukwe, Doroh, Owuoma, Obuoimo amongst others.

The rhythmic music, the dance steps, the machete play, the Eri-ikwnu and the overall aesthetics was always a sight to behold and we looked forward to our trips to the village, especially in December because of the masquerade dances and sometimes wrestling displays. I hear the last time there was a masquerade dance in Oduoha Ogbakiri was three years ago, and before then, I do not know. I have not personally watched one there in at least 35 years.

And this is what Seki aims to bring back- our culture on a high pedestal where the whole world can see it, appreciate it, learn and study it too. Seki is our life, it is the language of the people, it is the Niger Delta.

This was my encounter with Yibo Koko. I wait to read your thoughts on this.

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Spilled coffee, starry eyed interns highlight Day 1 of the free mentorship for sportscasters

4/5/2019

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Mentorship program with Sportscasters, Day 1

When I wrote via social media that I would hold a six week mentor-ship program with young and aspiring sportscasters in Rivers State I did not expect the kind of response I would get.

Yes I put up conditions that they must be in or fresh out of school and most importantly, I threw in an age range of 18-24. a few who were a little above the age limit wanted to get in and some who were way over the age limit also tried, but it had to be done for a reason.

After sieving out the many applications the sessions started with eight people- Susan Osimiri would join us later as she was rounding up from school and another chap from the Rivers State University would also be part of what we were doing.

The Icebreaker

When they all arrived on Saturday, April 27, 2019, I needed an icebreaker and the good god of icebreakers smiled at me as soon as we were setting up the room.

My coffee spilled, due more to my clumsiness than any other thing, but someone had to pay for it and as soon as I looked up, my eyes met those of a lady, whose name later turned out to be Faith and I had to blame it on her.

With a scowl on my face and pointing my index finger towards her direction like the Red Priestess, Melisandre in Game of Thrones, I said, “It is all your fault! You caused my coffee to spill.”

She was frenetic as she tried to defend herself, while I did my best to play my best “angry lecturer” role. I should take up acting. Nollywood, I am here.

Then as I sent off Daniel (Ekemini) to get some tissue from my car to clear the mess, I told her to write a pager on “How bad luck ruined my chances.”

I finally broke the ice. Following this is a narration from every one present, on the proceedings of the day.

Faith Yeega
Today, I and 7 other aspiring young sports casters had the opportunity of meeting with Mr. China Acheru, one of Port Harcourt's finest sports presenters at Wish 99.5 FM, opposite AIT, Ozuoba, Port Harcourt.

Those of us who arrived before 9am and to wait for Mr. China to finish up his program after which, he asked us to move into the news/ sports room and get seated.

We did as we were told, but just as I was about to take a seat, the coffee he was about to drink spilled. He told me that the spill was caused by my bad luck and asked me to write on 'How Bad Luck Ruined My Chances ' in 4 paragraphs within 15 minutes.

Mr. China asked the other guys to write on 'How I Benefited From Bad Luck' in four paragraphs too.

We finished and submitted what we'd written to him. He read through our work and after reading, proceeded to ask us questions.

When it was Topgbee Adile’s turn to be questioned he was asked to mention the bottom three sports casters in Port Harcourt. Adile, after a little bit of thinking through mentioned Patterson of Nigeria Info 92.3 FM's Sports Gang. When asked why he picked just Patterson, Adile said he doesn't like the style the controversial Nigeria Info FM man, which according to him is usually biased.

In response to Adile's comment on Patterson, Mr. China put a call through and told him that he is with some young interns he intends to train and someone just singled him out as the only sports caster he doesn't enjoy.

He threw some jabs and the call ended on a friendly note.

Prince Jack

After getting accepted for a Six weeks Sportscasting Internship program, a team of Nine (9) selected students were slated to meet with Mr, China Acheru at Wish 99.5 FM at Ozuoba by 9am.

Having a standard for not joking with time schedule, the iconic China Acheru welcomed the first Seven persons that arrived at the venue at exactly 09:06am into the "Sports & News" office.
Immediately we walked into the office, he welcomed us, smiled and simply Said "Relax, you are not here for an Interview, questioning or whatever, I invited all of you here for me to get to know all of you".
He accompanied the talk by pouring coffee into his cup which quickly slipped out of his hands and made it's way to the floor. Looking at the incident, we all quickly started chorusing "Sorry sire", "We're Sorry sire". He smiled and looked at one of the attendees (Miss Faith) and said to her; "In not less than four paragraphs, write on how Bad luck ruined your Chances", the young lady looking perplexed by the immediate assignment, then made her way into her bag, looking for writing materials to begin her writings when Mr, China Acheru changed the subject; "Alright, all of you, join her. Write on how you benefited from Bad luck in not less than four paragraphs.”
An A4 paper was immediately passed around amongst the attendees by Mr, China Acheru. Looking at the worrying eyes of some of us, he quickly said; "I just want to know the kind of persons I'm with right now inside this office, relax yourselves and get to work, no pressure or whatsoever, I just want to see how creative all of you are, write whatever it is that you will write; even if you aren't telling the truth but make it creative".
Mr, Topgbee mentioned Patterson of CoolWazobiaInfo family as one of the Casters he dislikes; prompting Mr, China Acheru to call Patterson to inform him about the latest development which sparked laughter around the office.
He then asked us to mention the Sports Caster we love the most in Rivers State and the majority of the house picked Sammy Weyjinya of Beat, Naija and Classic FM. Mr, China Acheru quickly picked up of his phone, took pictures and a video and joking narrating to Sammy, "Sammy, see your fans oh, I can't be training them for you, come & take your people". This prompted another session of laughter around the office and then Mr, China Acheru jokingly asked us; "I and Sammy, who is better?" We all answered logically stating they are both legends in their own right.

Emmanuel Asuzu

I was late, 35 minutes late so Mr. China Acheru asked me to stay outside. After some minutes I was allowed to enter the room, got my seat; it was an interactive class with 8 persons/Students, each spoke about WHY and HOW to become the Best Sportscaster and our best three sports casters in Rivers State and in Nigeria. There was a common name among 8 of us there, Mr. Sammy Wejinya of Naija 92. 7 FM, with other names like Chuma Nnoli, Foskolo, Patterson and Colin Udoh.
Mr. China Acheru talked us through about how he became a sports caster without initially studying journalism as a course and he also mentioned some few 'big names" in Sportscasting in Rivers State and Nigeria who didn't study Journalism initially.

He also highlighted how he was writing and doing presentations at NTA and other notable newspapers at the age of 18.

Mr. China Acheru highlighted how being bold, determined and passionate in sports casting can be key ingredients for success.

All done, he requested for questions which none of us asked.

We all wrote our Phone numbers for a WhatsApp group, to be created and the class was dismissed for the day.

Stanley David

I was late, the meeting was scheduled for 9am and I arrived about 9:10am.

Upon taking my seat I immediately attempted to join my peers in writing what Mr China had asked them to- A topic "How I benefited from bad luck.”
I was starting my first paragraph when he asked me to stop as I had no idea of what led to the said write up. I obeyed and waited, nervously watching my peers who had already begun writing. I sat there looking like a final year student whose answer booklet has been seized by the examiner for improper exam conduct. Moments later he instructed me to join my peers and I obliged.

One striking question Mr China asked during the interaction with the third speaker was that he should name the 3 worst sports casters he knows in port Harcourt -a banana peel question and he responded by naming just -Patterson Mgbeoji. Surprisingly, Mr China called Patterson on phone informing him that one of the interns he wants to mentor on sportscasting named only him as his worst sports presenter in Port Harcourt. It was some sort of comic relief from an already charged up atmosphere. Then came my turn. I probably stunned everyone including my self by claiming the last time I listened to a sports show was exactly a week and one day ago. The reaction that trailed my admission kind of unsettled me and I appeared to struggle with the subsequent questions.
During the course of the over two hours long discussion Mr China called his friend Dan the Humorous to revive their long standing debate over who is more popular, including the video recording of the room when everyone had hands raised about being big fans of Sammy Wejinya -one of the foremost sports presenters in Rivers State.

Topgbee Adile

When I arrived at 99.5 wish FM I was filled with joy and enthusiasm to finally meet with Mr China Acheru. I was asked to wait at the reception for Mr China because he was on air. There at the reception I met some of my fellow interns who wanted to see Mr China too. Finally the wait was over and we went in to see him. I was happy and at the same time tensed because I did not know what to expect. But all that changed when one of my fellow intern made Mr China spill his coffee on the floor and we were immediately told to write an essay. That really took me by surprise.
One of the moments I will never forget was when he asked me to name three sportscasters I did not like. That really threw me off my balance as I never expected that. I'm just really thankful I could recover, then I answered the question. It was really great to listen to my fellow interns talking about their passion and what drives them towards becoming radio sports people.
Mr China taught us how to profile the various sportscasters we know from the ones we like and admire down to the ones we did not like so we could learn from what makes them so good or bad at their job. This would help us make the best out of ourselves. In all, I learned a lot today and I also enjoyed myself.

Daniel Ekemini

The Ikwerre Man spilling his coffee because of Faith’s carelessness set the tone for the kickoff of THE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM WITH THE IKWERRE MAN which started at about 9am.
He mentioned during the meeting that he was particularly interested in writers. The next few sentences will be a written testimony to that.
On more than one occasion he mentioned that we weren’t there for an interview but for an introduction, though his method of questioning disagreed with him though. To be fair to him, the questions were straight forward. What’s your name? Why are you here? Who are your top/bottom three sportscasters in Port Harcourt? How frequently do you listen to radio? The general questions followed this pattern. The meeting took a humorous turn when Mr. China started making calls to some names that were mentioned in our discussion. It’s safe to say Patterson Mgbeoji of the COOLWAZOBIAINFO family stayed infamous for most parts of the meeting. From our discussion, some of us had some experience in sportscasting and blogging; most of us were students. The Ikwerre man made sure to give chunks of advice to everyone present whilst encouraging us not to be tensed during the meeting. Some of our favorite sportscasters were mentioned and we were told to learn from them. He shared stories of his experiences as a sports caster and one interesting lesson of boldness stuck with me.
The meeting today gave good signs of how interesting the next six weeks will be. The Ikwerre man shared doubts about this program ending in a success, I disagreed within me there in the meeting and I’ll disagree again here.

Okeh Kenneth

The mentorship program started in a bit of an off mode with Mr China’s tea spilling over to the floor warranting him to ask us to write in four paragraphs how bad luck turned good.

We did that and the program began with him asking us our names, reasons we are interested in the sportcasting and our best and worst radio sports people in Rivers State.

We all answered one after the other then moved to a general section were we communicated freely, which was lovely. One of us was late but he accepted him.

In the course of our discussion, one some of us made mention of disliking Patterson warranting Mr China to call him. He also made a short video when we all agreed that we like Mr Sammy Wejinya’s presentation pattern. All in all, we had fun.

And here I am hoping that the fun continues in the next six weeks like these ones have said.
Maybe they should think again.

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No restrictions, no condoms and random musing from the West Africa University Games

14/11/2018

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By Emmanuel Gbenga

It was an interesting one week at the West African University Games hosted by the University of Port Harcourt with so much that would have surely gotten you attention.

Away from the track, field events and indoor events, I took my time to do a “Behind the Scenes” coverage of the event, focusing on the athletes.

Who really were these athletes? Where did they come from? And what exactly did they really want?

How can I forget the fact that Organisers ensured that athletes, officials and guests were fed fat to their satisfaction with some even claiming that they were eating too much.

Well away from that I had a sit out with some of the athletes, had chats with them.

Thompson Blessing and George Onome of the Hockey Team representing the University of Nigeria (UNN) told ChinaAcheru.com that they had been friends since junior secondary school.

Well I don't know how many of my secondary school friends I still remember but here they were.

Onome said she convinced Blessing to join the hockey team.

Then I asked myself if only those in charge would encourage this event to give the country a better chance in getting gold in an Olympic Event.

An Undergraduate of the Obafemi Awolowo University Oluwa Adegoke won the 100m men's race in 10.24sec. Impressive!!?!!

He claimed how much of an inspiration his coach was to him and how being an athlete has changed him to be a better person.

Talking to this athletes I observed that a lot can be done to take young people off the streets and their addictions.

It's funny how most parents don't want their youths to participate in Sports yet expect them not to join the wrong circle of friends.

Talking to William Wodi, the chairman of the Media/ Publicity sub- committee of the games, he said, the hosts, University of Port Harcourt has always been a sporting school.

“With the objective of the School not just hosting to win but to host with a very good standard, according to the WAUG, the school wants to win but will win free and fair,” Wodi told ChinaAcheru.com.

“The School wants the athletes, officials and guests to leave with remarkable memory of Uniport being arguably the best in terms of hosting competitions in the whole of West Africa.

“The hosts not topping the medals table would have been news,” He added.

He sounds like a proud man but I wouldn’t blame him. The host topped the medal table at the end of the event, like they have done in many other events at home and away. He has earned his right to be proud.

Now to an interesting part of my sit down chat with Williams Wodi, I deviated slowly from "serious topics" by asking how much the host had planned to control sexually Transmitted diseases which were almost inevitable in an event where they had over 1million people in and enclosed environment.

In big sporting events, what would usually make news will be the mount of condoms distributed during the games for the athletes, officials and visitors, but maybe the Uniport was different.

Before the World Cup in Brazil it was announced that one billion condoms would be distributed with the Nigeria Football Supporters Club asking for sixty two million of them.

What about the University of Port Harcourt and the West Africa University Games?

He said "I'm not going to join you in turning the school into a moral Policeman.

“We made it known that everyone who will be participating must be over 18years of age where they'll be responsible for their own actions,” he said.

“Well not what I expected,” I said as I leaned backward hoping I wasn't going to be thrown out of his office. I know it's only sane and normal to ensure Sexually Transmitted Diseases are not being spread, but he disagreed saying it was none of the schools business.

"If they decide not to participate it's their concern. It’s a free society and everyone has the right to do whatever he/she wants.

“They have the duty to regulate themselves even if they want to get married the University has a church to join them.”

I sighed heavily as I said my goodbye.

What can I say?

Aluta Continua

Victoria Acerta

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Love

12/5/2018

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Stephanie Ade Williams

By Stephanie Ade Williams Whenever people see the word "Love" on TV, social media and books, they just want to read through... Because it is a magical word.

Love makes you happy.
Love gives you joy.
Love makes you feel light inside.

But before you can love, you must first love yourself because love starts with you.

Whenever I'm told "I love you", I feel light and you see smiles... But whenever I'm told "I hate u", jokingly, I'd be struggling and wondering inside where could I have possibly gone wrong... Even though she/he didn't mean it.

Love is a beautiful thing and it gives you joy and peace inside. Have you ever imagined a world without love...
Terrible, I know.

I can't even imagine that. Even though love still exists in this world. Hatred is ever found in the heart of some people.

We hear stories like, brothers killing each other, communities against another and stuff. If love were present, such act wouldn't happen.

In the Bible book of John chapter 3 verse sixteen, "For God so love the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life". What I am trying to say is that love drives you to do things. God loved the world that he gave.. if God didn't love the world he wouldn't waste his time to give his only begotten son to die for you and I.

But why can't we love each other just like our creator? (God). Apparently, because people get us upset; people talk behind us, people do all creepy stuffs and then hatred creeps in.
It's painful though but that shouldn't be the reason for us to hate people.

Do you know showing love by actions, for instance, giving people money and gifts makes you feel happy? I mean the giver. I've felt happiness just by giving people who are financially strapped. Because I know how it feels being broke. I can tell you, it isn't a good feeling. We can also show love by caring for people. We'll need to show love to people around us and everywhere we go.

Let's live, laugh and love. You can follow Stephanie Ade Williams on twitter via @StephWills143

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PFA AWARD: CONGRATS MO, BUT “RECENCY BIAS” AIDED YOUR WIN!

23/4/2018

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By Ufuoma Egbamuno

So, the worst kept secret was finally showcased on Sunday night as Liverpool forward, Mohammed Salah was crowned the PFA Player of the Year by his fellow professionals.

The Egyptian has had a sensational season/year that it doesn’t come as a surprise. 31 goals in the Premier League, 41 in all competitions, 4 games away from breaking club and league goal scoring records; it may be a little, scratch that, it will be hugely weird and awkward to say what I am about to say now on the evidence of these stats.

But, I have built a career and a life on treading where most dare not to and trying to look at issues from a totally different angle than most.

So, I am going to say this: Mo ultimately deserved to win the PFA gong BUT his win isn’t because he had a better season than the other candidate for the title, Manchester City’s Kevin De Bryne. It is down majorly to what I have termed RECENCY BIAS!
Here’s exactly what I mean.

Take your mind a little back to the last two nights of the UEFA Champions League and all the drama it served us.

First, Roma pulled a shocker defeating favourites Barcelona 3:0 to overturn a first leg 4:1 defeat. And then Juventus were seconds away from the unthinkable at the Santiago Bernabau.

Both matches were so significant, not just for the obvious importance to the teams involved but CRUCIALLY for the race for who gets to win the 2018 Ballon d'Or.

As soon as Barca got knocked out on that Tuesday night, Cristiano Ronaldo became a trending topic on social media. Reason? He was already being crowned as the number one favourite for this year's crown. Win the Champions League and he will be voted 2018 Ballon d'Or winner many posted.

A day later, Juve were a few seconds away from turning a 3:0 first leg home deficit into one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the UEFA Champions League knock out stage.

Then Cristiano happened!

The Real Madrid great was as cool as ice as he tucked home the winning goal from the spot in the 8th minute of added time.

The penalty that resulted in the winner is still the subject of debate even as I write this. And believe it or not, one aspect of this debate is centred on the 2018 Ballon d'Or.

On one hand, Barcelona cum Messi fans are adamant referee Michael Oliver has a "bag of rubbish for a heart" – (apologies Gigi Buffon). On the other hand, Madristas and Cristiano lovers have praised Oliver for having the guts to call the decision so late on.

Bottom line however is, that call – which was the right one by the way – reignited a conversation: who gets to win the Ballon d’Or.

Which brings me to the essence of this piece: “Recency bias” plays a huge and sometimes unfavourable role in choice of football award recipients.

The criteria for judging the best player of a league, continent or world football is always open for debate.

Is it who scores the most goals?

Makes the most assists?

Is it who wins a trophy?

Or better still, who wins the biggest trophy?

What's the calendar used?

A calendar year?

Or the European season calendar which starts in August and ends in May?

There's no definite parameter to be honest – at least none given by organisers of these awards. But what we do know for sure is that these awards are voted by a combination of fellow professionals, coaches, journalists or at least one of them depending on the award in question.

What also I do know for sure is that the recent form of a particular player at the time a vote is cast tends to work in favour of that individual – which is what I've termed “Recency Bias”.

Here are examples:

Lionel Messi controversially won the 2010 Ballon d'Or when many expected Dutch maestro, Wesley Sneijder to carry the day.

The previous season the former Inter Milan man was arguably the best player in Europe and the world helping Inter on their way to a famous Treble.

He was also instrumental to a Dutch side that went all the way to the final of the World Cup finishing as Runners Up. Messi on the other hand had a great year leading to Barca retaining their league crown.

But crucially, between August and December of that year, Messi was in blistering form scoring goals and generally the fulcrum of a wonderful Barcelona side.

Unfortunately for Sneijder, at that same period, Inter Milan were on a downward spiral culminating in a loss of form for the Dutch International.

I ask, when was the votes for that year's Ballon d'Or cast? Yes, your guess is as good mine: same time Sneijder was in poor form and Messi was awesome.

Let me take you back a few more years. The 2003 - 2004 season remains Arsenal's greatest ever season.

At the heart of it all was a certain Thiery Henry with 30 league goals and 6 in Europe on their way to a quarter final exit.

That same season, Barcelona started poorly but by December, a certain Ronaldinho took the world by storm leading Barca to an unimaginable second place finish.

Matter of fact, if not for the poor start to the season, many believe they could have overturned Rafa Benitez' Valencia lead. Ronaldinho continued that same form at the start of August, crucially at the time votes were cast for that year's FIFA Player of the Year award.

Oh, lest I forget, very few remembered that Barca were even knocked out by Celtic in the second round of the UEFA Cup sometime in February. Topping the league in November/December as well as excellent start in the Champions League at the time trumped the infamy of a disgraceful UEFA Cup exit early part of the year.

Interestingly, AC Milan’s Andrey Schevchenko won the Ballon d'Or with Henry finishing second while Ronaldinho won FIFA's version, again Henry finishing second.

Still not convinced about how “Recency Bias” plays a major role in swaying these votes?

In 2013, Cristiano Ronaldo scored 4 goals in a World Cup Play-off in November. A game that came after FIFA controversially extended voting for that year's Ballon d'Or. We all know the result of that 4 goal haul as a certain Frank Ribery who had an amazing season with Bayern leading to a Treble, finished behind not just Ronaldo but Messi. Recency Bias again played a crucial role as Bayern and most importantly Ribery suffered in dip in form in the months leading up to the vote cast.

Fast forward to April 2018 and Recency Bias is again at work. Or how else do you explain the notion out there that Barca's exit from the Champions League means Ronaldo will win or deserves to win the Ballon d'Or more than anyone else if Real Madrid win the Champions League?

How else do you explain the fact that many believe Mohammed Salah is the best player in the Premier League this season and it will be a tragedy or is it travesty if he isn't crowned PFA Player of the Year?

Let's start with Ronaldo. By his high standards, the first 5 months of the 2017-2018 season weren't good enough. For any other player, it wasn't bad. To be ranked as the world's best however, even Cristiano himself will admit he was way down the pecking order.

But since January ending, the Portuguese has been in devastating form. He is the top scorer in this year's Champions League and after heroics of the last two UEFA Champions League nights against Juventus, Real could as well be crowned winners for the third time.

The crucial question now is, does winning the European trophy suddenly negate the fact he has only been great for 3-4 months?

Does it automatically wipe out Messi's consistency from August till now if you chose a league season calendar or January till now if you choose a calendar year?

In a season where Barca could end up winning the league undefeated and are on course to get a double, does winning the Champions League wipe away consistency of a 9 month league season?

I've heard many say Messi would need to win the World Cup to finish ahead of Ronaldo in the race for Ballon d'Or if the Portuguese wins the Champions League.

The truth is, a Champions League win for Ronaldo will give him an almost equal right to a Ballon d'Or win as Messi's incredible league season. The notion that the European win automatically means one trumps the other can only be made because of Recency Bias.

And to Mo, four weeks ago I brought up the topic on my radio show about who deserves to be named PFA Player of the Year should be and overwhelmingly, the Egyptian Messi -as Mo Salah is fondly called - got most of the votes. I kept asking the callers if Salah's recent performances wasn't beclouding their judgements and the replies I kept getting was "No, he's been on fire all season."

Make no mistake, Salah has been one of the most consistent performers in the Premier League this season. I'm not sure the Liverpool hierarchy believed he would turn out this good when they paid 30 million pounds last summer.

However, I find it ridiculous that most of us believe no other person in the Premier League comes close to the Egyptian.

And I attribute this assertion to Recency Bias.

Like I've asked a few times, as at December 2017, who is that one player in the Premier League touted as the overwhelming favourite for the PFA Player of the Year?

Who was that Premier League player who was touted as a possible competition for the aliens that are Messi and Ronaldo in the race for the 2018 Ballon d’Or?

His name isn't Mo Salah.

As at December 2017, Manchester City's Kelvin De Bruyne was heads and shoulders above everyone and at the heart of a City team who were being compared at the time to the Invincibles.

So, has Kevin suddenly become poor now?

I’ve heard many – including colleagues – say that the Belgian tailed off in the second half of the season and only had 6 great months as opposed to Salah who’s been consistent all through the year.

Guess what, that is the most untrue thing ever said in 2018!

I am not big on stats and I hate using it as a basis of football analysis because I am old enough to know you can skew whatever stats you want to suit your argument.

But check this out: for all of Kevin’s supposed brilliance in the first half of the season, it wasn’t just about his goals and assists records. Because if it was, then Mo Salah would have been the name on our lips back in December and not Kevin.

In August, he had no goal or assist in 3 games.
September, he scored 1 and set up 2 in 4 games.
October, scored none and had 3 assists in 4 games.
November, Kevin scored 3 and assisted 1 goal in 4 games.
And scored 2 with 2 assists in December over a 7 game period.

So, for the first half the season which almost all of us agree Kevin De Bryne was the overwhelming PFA Player of the Year favourite and even had many listing him for a possible Ballon d’Or nomination, the Belgian scored 6 goals and 8 assists in 22 games.

In that same period, Mo Salah scored 17 goals and assisted 6 goals.
On the basis of stats, Mo had a better first half of the season, Yet, Kevin was the one touted by many as the next PFA Player of the year at the time.

And no, Kevin hasn’t had a poor second half of the season as insinuated in certain quarters.

He didn’t score or assist against Watford in January but was at the heart of everything good for City in the game; had an above average performance at Anfield in that 4:3 loss; ran the show against a stubborn Newcastle the following week and against West Brom the next game.

He had a majestic performance at the King Power in February; combined with Silva to decimate the Gunners at the Emirates at the start of March and ran the show against the Blues without any goal or assist in both games.

Dictated play for at least 45 minutes against Mourinho’s United a few weeks back and was brilliant against Spurs just a few days ago.

But you see, the problem here is, for all of De Byrne's brilliance this season, Mo Salah has since the turn of the year been stealing the headlines with jaw-dropping performances.

The fact that City effectively won the title at Old Trafford on December 10th more or less took the focus off Pep’s side and to some extent De Bryne. We in the media needed something new to talk about in a season that effectively became a One-Horse race since December 10th.
And Mo’s brilliance which took a turn for the better since January gave us more headlines.

Do you know when the votes for the PFA awards were cast? Your guess is as good as mine. Certainly not November or December 10th.

Let's even for the sake of this conversation agree that Kevin was only sensational for one part of the season. Errrr, anyone remembers a certain player getting the FIFA Player of the Year award on the back of one sensational month in a year he didn't play football for up to 6 months?

See, that whole half season wonder argument really doesn't hold up sometimes when votes are cast. The here and the now, otherwise known as RECENCY BIAS does come into play largely.

Take the 2017 CAF awards held this year as a case study. Even if Victor Moses scored 30 goals and got 25 assists to help Chelsea win the league last season, the fact that as at the time the votes were cast – between August and December - coincided with a purple patch for Mo and loss of form for Moses meant there was only going to be one winner.

The same way Ronaldinho beat Henry to the award in 2004; Messi trumped Sneidjer in 2010 and Ronaldo beat Ribery years ago is the same way ticket that has given Mo Salah this year’s PFA Player of the Year – Recency Bias!

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After Dark: Hot Pants

Meeting Yibo Koko, the Seki exponent

Spilled coffee, starry eyed interns highlight Day 1 of the free mentorship for sportscasters

No restrictions, no condoms and random musing from the West Africa University Games

Love

PFA AWARD: CONGRATS MO, BUT “RECENCY BIAS” AIDED YOUR WIN!

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